It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.
But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures.
Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.
Enjoying things you like is NOT WASTING YOUR LIFE. Enjoying things is the exact opposite of wasting your life. I don’t care if what you like to do is stare at digital clocks or ceiling fans. Immersing yourself in your interests cannot be measured in value.
Forcing yourself to become a blank slate is torture. 0 out of 10 stars, would not recommend.
Tupac died at 25. If Malcolm X died at 25 he would have been a street hustler named Detroit Red. If Martin Luther King died at 25 he would’ve been known as a local baptist preacher. And if I had died at 25 I would’ve been known as a struggling musician. Only a sliver of my life’s potential.
27. Forced independence that will benefit you in the future. Being solo, you don’t always have a person for emotional support and the only option is to be strong for yourself. It’s like lifting weights. A girlfriend/boyfriend serves a spotter, but when you’re by your lonesome, the pressures on you. Get stronger or drop the weight on your chest.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
—Woody Allen (via quoteablelifee)